Making I spy bottles is fun, fun, fun! The kids have loved
dying the rice, choosing their trinkets to go inside, and to stare at their
bottles to find each object. I started
by having each child hold a baggy with rice in it. I poured about 1T of white vinegar and a small
squirt of food coloring to the rice.
They would then squish the rice around until it was fully colored. Then we poured it out onto paper towels to
dry. After it was completely dry, we mixed the colors together. *Note, I discovered
the hard way: don’t mix the rice until it is fully dry otherwise it turns and ugly
brown color.
At a later session, I had the kids choose trinkets to go
inside their bottles. I used small water
bottles with the wrapper removed. You
can certainly go with a large bottle, but it will take more supplies and not
fit so nicely in the coping skill box. I had sequins, beads, brads, rubber
bands, paper clips, and googly eyes. You
can really use anything that is small enough to fit in the bottle. I enjoy giving them choices. If you better at planning, you can make a
list of items that they put in the bottle so that they will know what they are
searching for.
After they filled their bottles I used superglue to attach
the lid to the bottle. I have in the
past had kids dump the contents at home, which the parents didn’t enjoy too
much! Many of the kids have come back and talked about how they used their
bottles to calm down when upset.
Children process emotions in many ways, but usually best
through play. It takes time to develop
an emotional vocabulary and to mature to the point to use it. In the meantime, play can help facilitate processing
emotions and communicating with caregivers.
Before children can adequately communicate feelings, they need to calm
down strong emotions. Play dough is a
great tool for this! Let’s explore some options:
Squeezing.I encourage children to squeeze the play dough
so that it oozes out of their fingers.They typically enjoy this activity because it if fun, but it also is a
sudden release of energy.Anger builds
up as energy that needs to be released to help calm down.There are many options for letting out
emotional energy, such as exercise, squeezing a pillow, stress ball, etc.;
however, play dough is fun!I also like
the tactile aspect of using play dough.Multi sensory play incorporates using grounding techniques in calming
down.
Smashing. Similar to squeezing, it is another way to
let out strong emotions. They can either
create things and then smash them or just smash balls of play dough.
Feelings
Faces.Kids who lack an emotional
vocabulary can use play dough to communicate feelings.They can use pieces of play dough to form
feelings faces, they can squish a ball of play dough and carve out facial expressions,
or they can use cookie cutters to stamp out feelings faces.A friend of mine was selling some super cute
emoji cookie cutters from Pampered Chef that I couldn’t pass up.They are a hit with the kids!They also stack up and click together to make
storage easy.
Cutting
with Scissors. Have you every cut play dough with scissors?If not, you are missing out!There is something strangely gratifying about
it. I have found the children who have a history of trauma are especially
intrigued by it. I’m not sure why, but they seem to love it.
Characters.
Sometimes I will form little people out of play dough and encourage kids to act
out situations with them.It can be
helpful to process frustrations about a situation, fears, or anything that is
causing strong emotions.Consider this
example: A child comes in and says, “Tommy made me so mad that I want to punch
him!”I could give him a couple of
play dough figures (or he could create them) and ask him to act out what
happened.He could then role play with
the figures to demonstrate the situation. It would also give me the opportunity
to help them process not only what happened, but to ask what he thinks would
solve the situation, discuss what he did say or do, what he could have said or
done, etc.It opens the door for
dialogue.
Creative
Play.Most children enjoy being
creative, building and designing things.As they play I look for themes in what they are doing.I usually will watch for a while and then ask
questions and I pick up on themes.Sometimes you will see a child venting anger through play.Or sometimes you may hear a cry for
help.They will often act out issues
that are heavy on their hearts, such as feeling rejected and desiring friends,
or fear of being hurt.Many times they
will act as a superhero overcoming difficult situations.There is usually something to be learned by
quietly watching a child play.
I hope these tips are helpful. I am a strong believer in helping children
learn many ways to cope. Play dough has
been good to me. It is one tool that can
be used in many ways. This is not a
comprehensive list, but a few ideas that I have used in my counseling
room.
Last fall I helped the kids I work with make coping skill
boxes. They were able to decorate them
and either take them home or to their classroom to help them if they started to
feel out of control. I talked to their
teachers and parents about how to implement the skills and which skills would
be useful in various settings. Some of
the kids took home some of their items and left some at school, especially those
that may have caused issues in the classroom.
The kids really seemed to enjoy decorating their boxes and
discussing how they would use their boxes and where they would keep them. The main point that I stressed during the
session was discussing how to implement skills and ways to remember
skills. While their hands were busy
decorating, they were happy to chat about their week and process emotions.
It is always enjoyable to see how different personalities
come out with the activities. Some wrote
their name on the box and then were ready to move on to another activity. Others meticulously painted for the entire
session. The important thing to remember
is to roll with it. When I insist that
they do things a certain way or spend a certain amount of time on a project,
they usually shut down on me. Several of
them opted for Legos after their box was complete.
I created this video to show how I use Feelings Candy Land in sessions. I view games in counseling as simple tools to help children open up about their feelings. Many times they do not know what they are feeling or how to communicate the feelings they have. The game helps this process along by having them identify times they felt the various feelings. Sometimes it may take a while for them to think of a time that they experienced that feeling. It normalizes verbalizing their feelings and helps them to be familiar with using I Statements to discuss their feelings.
I find that children are generally comfortable talking when in a play format, but will clam up if it is eye to eye conversation. Keeping the focus on the game allows them to explore their feelings without feeling put on the spot. I encourage children to continue using I statements when discussing feelings with others. And the more we play Feelings Candy Land the more they do use I statements!
When playing this game, I generally go with the flow of the child. If they are guarded, I give guarded response. If they are more open, I give open responses. I want them to feel comfortable with the game, not pressured to say anything in particular. If I have a child who continues to be guarded over time, I will give responses related to what I feel they need to talk about. Such as “I felt sad when my grandma died.” The key is to not be obvious and throw those responses out sparingly.
I also try to read body language to tell if a child is ready to open up and talk or if they are uncomfortable and want to continue in the game. Waiting a few seconds before taking your turn can give them an opportunity to elaborate. If they don’t, it’s good to continue on. I try to make a mental note of important things said during the game so that we can revisit them later. I also keep them in mind for choosing the game for the next session. It is not uncommon for a child to complain of being picked on. I will usually choose a game related to bullying for the next session.
Some of the older kids then I see love Feelings Candy Land, but most of them prefer UNO. I use the same concept with UNO, but just use the colors represented in UNO, red, yellow, blue, and green. I think it works just as well.
I hope you enjoy the video!
Doesn’t it just break your heart when you hear a child tell
about not being able to sleep due to nightmares? Due to working with elementary
aged children most of the time this is a common occurrence for me. Sometimes the nightmares are related to
watching scary movies, related to general anxiety, or are associated with trauma.
While this is not an area of expertise for me, I have had some great success in
helping children overcome nightmares.
When a child reports they have had a nightmare, I encourage
them to draw a picture of it. As they are drawing or towards the end of their
drawing I have them tell me what happened in the nightmare. They are to describe in as much detail as
possible. I also ask questions about
their senses in the dream to see if they could recall sights, smells, sounds,
tastes, or things they could feel. Next, we discuss the villain or the theme
causing the fear from the nightmare. If
it is a monster or a bad guy, we discuss his powers that make him scary. Next, we discuss a superhero who could beat
the bad guy. They will then talk about
what kind of superhero it would have to be.
They call tell the story of how the superhero beats the villain from
their nightmare. In the end, I have the draw a picture of the superhero
overcoming the villain.
I have had clients as young as 3 years old put this into practice
and overcome nightmares. It can
sometimes be a repetitive process of rescripting the nightmares, especially for
a child who has experienced more extensive trauma. However, my experience has been that they
make great progress. I also explain the
process to parents so they can work with their children at home. Having them talk about the nightmare and draw
a picture soon after it occurs can help then process it before they start to
forget the details.
Credits: I learned about rescripting nightmares in a CEU class
by Lisa Demarni Cromer, PhD from Tulsa University. Her experience and research far exceeds the
information I gleaned form the class.
I love to play Feelings
Candy Land with my clients! We all have a good time and it provides a
great platform for processing feelings, teaching kids how to use words to
express emotion, and to identify problem areas that need to be addressed in
future sessions.
I use Feelings Candy
Land for several different reasons:
1. To help
children identify feelings words and how to attach them to experiences.
2. To help
children process feelings in a non-threatening format.
3. To establish
rapport. I think that it helps children normalize feelings when they
realize that their therapist has feelings, too.
I created this simple
PDF download as a simple guide to demonstrate how to use Candy Land in therapy
sessions. Here's the link to the free download: https://www.pathwaystopeacecounseling.com/product-page/feelings-candy-land-game-instructions
Be sure to type "CANDY" in the discount code field.
